Well cheers to a uncertain future

Well this week more uncertainty has crept into my life.

I have been made redundant. 

While I'm not overly happy about the prospect of leaving the job I have held for the last 4 1/2yrs, I can honestly say I just don't have the fight left in me to try again to keep it.

So now with the uncertainty I have a world of possibility in front of me of what I can do next. While in theory this all sounds wonderful I'm not overly happy about this either as there is no structure, control, planning in place on what I am to do next.

Also with the possibility comes "new", I'm thinking about the concept of this now and while it is pushing me out of my comfort zone I'm actually kind of looking forward to it.

So I guess I plan the best way I can. So I'm to start with the job websites and ringing round trying to update my references etc.

So far I have applied for 3 jobs and I have 2 more I am still contemplating. The next "right job" will be just around the corner I'm sure. So for the time being it's a matter of holding on to the handlebars and let the roller coaster take me where it may.

Well wish me luck people and lets see where I end up next :). 

Oh and if you hear of anything in the admin department that you think I might be interested in please feel free to send it my way. The more people helping me look the better.

(Small side note. I started writing this post on Tuesday while waiting for the confirmation. I strategically left it until now to post so I get over all my angry "doom & gloom" and start looking on the bright side. I know this is situation is not forever and I found a awesome quote this week that I think sums it up.)
 

If my daughter makes it to 18.......(Warning Content of this Post is a tad GROSS)

At present we are battling winter illness. So far this winter (Well actually the last 6wks) we've had a tummy bug, strep throat and now we're moving on to a wonderful cold which I won't go into great detail about (it's pretty gross). So again I have found that I have had to take time off work.

I'm now at the point where I'm getting cabin fever and my patience is extremely thin, It also doesn't help that I'm not feeling 100% either. At this point of having her home with me I'm thinking it's going to be a miracle if she makes it to 18yrs old.

My darling daughter when she gets cooped up she tends to go a little like her Mumma with cabin fever. I swear this afternoon was like I'd feed her a whole pile of sugar as she was running round like a crazy person. Was only when she stopped she realised she was still sick as the coughing came and the copious amounts of snot. Her ears must also not be working because everything I said to do (Like stay in the lounge cause it's warm) completely went out the window. Theres is also the entertainment factor that I'm having fun with. Her attention span is not lasting as long as normal.

This post is mainly because I'm frustrated. I know lots of kids get like this and I'm sure I'm not the only mother out there ready to rip their hair out due to not being able to win. I was even informed by the Doctor when we went last time that kids can have 12 sicknesses of a winter (which to me seems ridiculously high).

Be nice to catch a break sometime soon and be able to actually work. Its at this stage of the last few weeks I'm pretty sure I wouldn't last too long as a stay at home mum.

So now I'm going to stop whinging as a) theres not much I can do about the situation and b) having a child was our decision so I'm pretty sure this was self inflicted so time to take the concrete pill and harden up :).

Can't talk right now.................

So can't talk right now due to loosing my voice lol.
Went to bed slightly croaky last night and woke up with squat diddly voice this morning only to have it almost disappear completely when I got to work.
Went to the docs and apparently I have strep throat which is currently killing my voice. Have been given 10days worth of pills and told to rest my voice.

Trying to explain to the doc what was wrong was interesting then having the ladies at the pharmacy try and talk to me was a bit of a giggle.

Having picked Miss Midget up on way home and having her with me for half the day has certainly been the most trying of the lot. Trying to explain to a 3yr old why Mummy sounds funny and how talking hurts mummy was a challenge to. Pretty sure she doesn't get it. She told me that she didn't like me talking like this and I should talk like I normally do. If only it was that simple.

Mr E is going to think it's his lucky day when he gets home from work, he'll have a quiet wife for a change :).

I'll update this post on how I get on for the next couple of days :)

Having "that child"

Hmmmm so We have discovered as Miss Midget is getting older taking her places has become more of a mission.
While I realise the only way she'll learn what acceptable behaviour is for us to take her places and reward the good and not let her get away with the bad stuff.
It's just an incredibly draining exercise and can be highly embarassing having "that" child when your in a social situation.
You know the one I'm talking about. That child screaming or getting into something they shouldn't be or making their poor parent look like a idiot as they are trying desperately to get them under control.
This can be a lot of fun trying to figure out what to do when the child has their own ideas.

Comes back down to a fight or flight scenario. Do you stand their and fight with you child until they see the error of their ways or do you excuse yourself and your child and run away before they can cause any more of disturbance?

I'll give Miss Midget credit she generally is a pretty good kid and most of the time we don't have to many problems when we go places.

Today was not such a cool example though. We were invited to a christening. Miss made some friends and was running round with them and then she gravitated to the sand and dirt and wanted to play in there, Obviously due to her being dressed up and where she wanted to play wasn't really meant to be a sandpit we had to keep steering her clear from it.There were a few other instances where her ears just didn't seem to want to work. Then it came time for the event. Well Missy didn't understand that you had to be quiet. It was explained multiple times but due to the no ears she was suffering from it became a bit much and she was taken out the front for a little while. We resorted to Mr E's phone for her entertainment and she sat on the ground quite happy for awhile until the speeches were over.

While it wasn't a epic scene we still felt bad. I know that sounds funny and I can hear some of you saying that I'm blowing it out of proportion. Factor this in too - My need to not have people looking at me and my parenting skills and the fact that we didn't know half the guests and it was a special day for our friends.

After the speeches we decided it ws probably a good idea to take our tiny terrorist home since her ears didn't seem to be switched on today, We excused ourselves which is a shame as it would of been nice to of stayed but Miss was just getting worse. We will be going back again this evening to have a couple of drinks so will explain when we get there which I'm sure they'll understand.

2 things I have learnt today though is always take food with you when you go somewhere. You can then combat the hungry child and also always make sure you have a escape plan in place just in case of a "that child" emergency.

So now Miss is sitting happily watching TV and isn't "That child" and we will attempt this social thing with her another day once we have her ears working properly.

Crafty shite and a few other things

So we made it to the end of August and now into September.
I still don't know what happened to August. It went by in a blur.
It was a busy month. We had a family friend come stay for 2wks.
We had 4 family birthdays (Mums, Dads and Mine and Miss Midget).
We had a trip to Starship for Missys lump and yeah.

So Missys birthday went really well. All projects that we had set out to do as presents for her were completed and she was thrilled.

We had to acknowlegde that Mummy and Daddy told fibs and that the "trailer shed" was really her new play house. The afternoon of her birthday was the big unveiling. Once she figured out it was for her she promptly made a little track from the house to her little house taking what ever we would let her out there. We had touble getting her in that night. She was determined she was sleeping out there lol. So 3yrs old and ready to move into her own place. I knew she was advanced for her age but that was a bit more than Mummy was going to let happen. I can't imagine it would of lasted long though given theres no power out there or even a bed for that matter :)

As for my little project I'd been working on, I managed to get that completed on the 23rd with the help of my mothers sewing machine. We ended up giving it to Missy when we went down to Auckland for the hospital trip. She seems to like it and has been playing with it a bit since then. It's a bit hard to tell if its a hit due to her having received some many other toys during the course of the week.

Have also been dying to work on a little side project that I had thought of but wanted to wait till I'd finished the house.
Tinker Bell has become a favourite in this house well at least with Miss Midget. So I found a picture online which looked pretty cool with Tinker Bell and all her fairy friends and decided I would try and make them. The last photo in the long list below will give you a indication on how I'm getting on :).

Oh also big news here. The Dummy fairy came and visited on Thursday night. I am now rather sleep deprived as it's about night 3 we're up to tonight without dummy. Miss Midget is doing well though and hasn't asked for the dummy to many times. She did say this morning she missed it though. We just gently remind her that the dummy fairy gave it to a baby that needed one as she was now a big girl and didn't need dummy. She's seems ok with this answer, I do however think she is now trying to substitute her bottle for dummy. So I guess that'll be the next to go.
We haven't been to concerned with the bottle due her food intake during the day (somedays getting her to eat anything is a mission impossible) but I'm thinking now that we will need to seriously look at the bottle as I don't particularly want to be going through this all over again in just a little while.

Anyway thats it for me. My eyes are starting to hang out of my head. I hear my bed calling my name which is a pretty good sign it's sleep time :).
Will update you all on the lump and the starship appointment another day.
 


Playing with the door of her new house

 

Playing with her awesome stove top her Nanny Jan & Popa John made.



Awesome butterflies given to Missy by Nanny Pam and Popa Les

 

Outside view of my house project

Inside view of my house project

My side project :)

 

Haircuts and feeling guilty

This subject has been bugging me for a couple of days now. While I'm going to try very hard not to offend anyone apologies now if I manage to (There is no ill intention behind this post at all).

So on the weekend I let Miss Midget's Nana cut her hair. I did ask her to in fact. This is fine just it didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped. Nana did her best and with Miss Midget there is the wiggle bum factor to take into account.

My thing with it all is I'm thinking I should of just well enough alone. Poor Miss Midget is now being asked if she's a boy when taken out places. Majority of her curls are gone and yeah. I'm no having extreme guilt about the whole thing.

I can hear you now - "It's just a hair cut" and you are right it is but it's a big thing to be put in charge of someone else's hair. I have flash backs to my own childhood where my mother made a judgement call with my hair and I was forced to have short hair in the hopes that it would get thicker. Now again my mother did what she thought was best and I don't begrudge her that as now being in the same situation I can see how difficult the decision was. It leaves you open to "Why?" etc.

Now I cannot stress this enough, I love Tayla's Nana to pieces and I did ask her to do it so as far as I'm concerned it's not her fault at all, it's mine. I feel guilty because I have done to my child what I had done to me.

When I was little I wanted desperately to have long beautiful hair like my favourite cartoon characters but it was not to be. Instead all through out my childhood after my hair cuts I would be tormented with "Your a boy, you have a boy hair cut, why are wearing a skirt?".
I'm almost 29yrs old so you would think I would be over it by now since I had these remarks at primary school and younger but yeah things stick I guess. I just don't want Miss Midget to go through what I went through. Hmmmm therapy is needed I suspect as I hadn't realized how traumatized I was by it all lol (just kidding)
Now I realize I'm making it out to be a life changing test that I failed miserably at and am putting far to much importance into such a shallow subject. I know I'm being completely silly with this post but yeah it's how I'm feeling at the moment. This and others things but really second guessing decisions I have made in the past and feeling guilty about things that I have done - So I'm not dealing with the other things and projecting my feelings into a completely meaningless situation - Don't worry, It's ok. Just let me have my rant about this haircut and I'll be sweet lol.

Now in all my rant above which has basically been about how I'm feeling, I haven't mentioned how Missy is. Well thats the funny thing. I'm pretty sure due to the fact she's almost 3 she doesn't seem actually care or to notice she's different again (All her little play friends have very pretty girly hair).
I still have to almost hold her down to brush her hair (or do it sneakily while she's occupied doing something else) and she's not said anything about. So I'm pretty sure it's just me for the moment having this guilt trip about it all. In saying that give it another few years and my name will be mud once she starts actually paying attention to her appearance and her hair.

Before the haircut

After the haircut - Almost no Curls :(

And just to prove I'm not telling fibs about the boy haircut. Yes this is me. I'm about 3 in this photo.

You can stick your opinion where............

OK So I'm going to try and not inundate you with my ramblings to much but this has been bugging me for a couple of months now so I thought I'd just put it out there :)

So as some of you may know I kind of disappeared from the World Wide Web for a little while (a least on a personal level).
Well during this time it was brought to my attention that some people thought I had a problem with social networking and an addiction.
Now to me this is absurd. While everyone is entitled to their own opinion on what is acceptable use of the Internet and I try and keep a open mind as to everyone's views on usage etc I am baffled as to why people would
A) think that and B) feel the need to comment on it.
So this blog post is for you (whomever you are. Drives me nuts I don't know as it means I have so called friends who don't have a enough guts to come and talk to me to my face).
OK yes in the past I have spent quite a bit of time on the Internet for work and out of boredom.
Yes the past few months I haven't been on so much partially because I have lost interest with updating people on my every move and partially I am hurt with regards to this opinion.
Let me fill you in on my situation and that might clarify things for you.
I work for a website company. I am on the computer at least 5hrs of every working day. If I feel the need to it's sometimes more depending on whether I have something of interest to look up or somethings happening.
My partner works for a company where he does shift work. 4 days on shift and 4 days off. During his 4 days on he works 2 day shifts and 2 night shifts, each shift is 12hrs long. So as you can imagine I spend a bit of time by myself.
I had been using Twitter and Facebook and Tumblr as a way of venting etc. I always tried to make sure that if I wasn't on the computer for work related and my daughter wanted to play with me that I did so. I always made and will continue to make sure all her needs where I can are met and will always take priority over the Internet.
To me social networking is a hobby. It's something to do that's interactive and can be fun to play with. Whether it be online games or a blog like this. It is also a way of me being able to have adult conversation when it is not always possible to leave my house or have people come visit.
It is also a way for me to keep up with whats happening with everyone and for my family and friends to see what is happening with me when they live over in Aussie or somewhere else in the world.

So thats basically it.

So to those of you out there that think or have thought I have a problem. You can stick it. You are obviously nosey enough to be reading my blog now and obviously follow me and my whereabouts on the Internet.

If you don't have enough guts to say to me you that you think I have a problem or even just talking to me about it then keep you opinions to yourself.

On that note. I hope everyone has had a good day and we'll catch you all again later :)