It's funny what life throws at ya

So at present I'm trying - 

This is sometimes easier said than done. Sometimes I'd much rather



It's ok though don't worry cause I will be fine. I will not let the world beat me :)
As long as I remember




and 


and



Have a good day guys xo

Having "that child"

Hmmmm so We have discovered as Miss Midget is getting older taking her places has become more of a mission.
While I realise the only way she'll learn what acceptable behaviour is for us to take her places and reward the good and not let her get away with the bad stuff.
It's just an incredibly draining exercise and can be highly embarassing having "that" child when your in a social situation.
You know the one I'm talking about. That child screaming or getting into something they shouldn't be or making their poor parent look like a idiot as they are trying desperately to get them under control.
This can be a lot of fun trying to figure out what to do when the child has their own ideas.

Comes back down to a fight or flight scenario. Do you stand their and fight with you child until they see the error of their ways or do you excuse yourself and your child and run away before they can cause any more of disturbance?

I'll give Miss Midget credit she generally is a pretty good kid and most of the time we don't have to many problems when we go places.

Today was not such a cool example though. We were invited to a christening. Miss made some friends and was running round with them and then she gravitated to the sand and dirt and wanted to play in there, Obviously due to her being dressed up and where she wanted to play wasn't really meant to be a sandpit we had to keep steering her clear from it.There were a few other instances where her ears just didn't seem to want to work. Then it came time for the event. Well Missy didn't understand that you had to be quiet. It was explained multiple times but due to the no ears she was suffering from it became a bit much and she was taken out the front for a little while. We resorted to Mr E's phone for her entertainment and she sat on the ground quite happy for awhile until the speeches were over.

While it wasn't a epic scene we still felt bad. I know that sounds funny and I can hear some of you saying that I'm blowing it out of proportion. Factor this in too - My need to not have people looking at me and my parenting skills and the fact that we didn't know half the guests and it was a special day for our friends.

After the speeches we decided it ws probably a good idea to take our tiny terrorist home since her ears didn't seem to be switched on today, We excused ourselves which is a shame as it would of been nice to of stayed but Miss was just getting worse. We will be going back again this evening to have a couple of drinks so will explain when we get there which I'm sure they'll understand.

2 things I have learnt today though is always take food with you when you go somewhere. You can then combat the hungry child and also always make sure you have a escape plan in place just in case of a "that child" emergency.

So now Miss is sitting happily watching TV and isn't "That child" and we will attempt this social thing with her another day once we have her ears working properly.

The Parent Test - For those who have not seen it yet :)

For those of you who haven't seen the email or didn't manage to catch it on stuff.co.nz here is the Parent Test.
 

I love this cause it's 99% true :)

Test 1: Preparation 

 

Women: To prepare for pregnancy

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children 

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

 

Test 2: Knowledge 

 

Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.

Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.

 

Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.

Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

 

Test 4: Dressing Small Children 

1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.

Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

 

Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6: Going for a walk 

 

a. Wait.

b. Go out the front door.

c. Come back in again.

d. Go out.

e. Come back in again.

f. Go out again.

g. Walk down the front path.

h. Walk back up it.

i. Walk down it again.

j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.

k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.

l. Retrace your steps.

m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.

n. Give up and go back into the house.

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children 

 

Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

 

Test 8: Grocery Shopping 

1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
4. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old

1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10:TV

1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11: Mess 

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.

Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers

1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.

You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13:Conversations

1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.

You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work

1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work

You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

Have a good Sunday people :)

 

This week has just gone

Well this week certainly has flown by.
Monday = Starship and being stuck there from 11am till 3pm for Doc Appointment and Ultrasound).

Tuesday = Work and Tayla had a well earned day with her Daddy chilling at home.
Wednesday = More work.

Thursday = Work and some dealings with drama . did learn a few things though. Mainly life is not worth spending worrying about someone who doesn't give a rats about you. Surrounding yourself with people who actually think your worth something is the way to go :). So just so they don't get a big head and think I'm gonna start having a "tantrum" about them I'll leave it at that :).
Friend cull on facebook to. Took me a awhile but I'm happy with the results :).

Friday = Work (I was pretty busy all things considered this last week, Pretty sure I managed to accomplish a fair bit though)  and then running round with Miss Midget ( I run around with Miss Midget quite regularly but yesterday she was knackered when she went to bed. She'd had lots of fun at Nanny Pam's and then some more with me)
Today = Having Miss Abi to come play was very cool. Tayla really enjoyed having Abi here and they played so well. I now see why Pam always considered herself lucky to look after these 2 during the week. They were having pure fun :).

So as a reward to myself and considering Miss Midgets Dad is on night shift I'm going to eat pasta for dinner and chill out in front of my favourite programs, Might even consider having a bourbon for all my hard work this week :).

Have a good one everyone :)

Consider the rent raised :)

Children in public

Having worked back in the CBD again for what must be coming up a year I have seen and heard my fair share of children throwing epic tantrums. I have also seen peoples reactions to these tantrums.
You can always tell the person who doesn't have a child as they get this look on their face while they are pretending they don't see. The look speaks louder than anything though "Would you shut your little monster up!!!".
You can see others as well. Like the pity look - "Oh you poor thing". I assume these people have been in a similar situation and can definitely relate to what the poor Mum or Dad is going through. I'm pretty sure thats the look I get. Well at least I hope it's the look I get and not this one, the "I'm glad it's you not me" look. These people try  for the pity look but theres a smugness about them that you know exactly what they are thinking.


I'm lucky with Miss Midget, I have not had her pull a epic tantrum in town (we don't go to town very often so thats probably why) or in anywhere to public.
I dread the Supermarket though as I know one day my luck will run out and Miss will have one in there. I have managed to bypass a few that look like they may come. Distraction is the best in this situation and there are lots of things in a supermarket to do this with. If she tries the I want card and I say no and she even looks like she's going to go there I start talking about other stuff like "Can you help Mummy find.........?" or "Can you see......." or "Can you hold this for Mummy please?" this generally works. The only time I have any problem is when I'm at the counter and am trying to pay for something. Missy is insistent on having my wallet. Silly me gave it to her one day and she promptly spread the entire contents on the floor while having a look at it and deciding Mummy didn't need things. Lets just say I don't make that mistake any more. I also try not to park the trolley to close to the Eftpos machine either as little tutu fingers is just dying to "help" Mummy push the buttons.
Most of the time the Cashiers are lovely and talk to Miss and she thinks thats awesome. They also mostly understand if something doesn't quite go to plan.
There was one incident that comes to mind though where I just wished the ground had swallowed me. We were paying for our items and Miss just happened to be going through her screaming/squealing stage and no matter what I said or did she wouldn't stop it. The checkout lady made a big song and dance about it and how it hurt her ears but Miss carried on. The checkout lady was trying to be funny about it with me I guess but there was a definite "Shut your screaming monster up" undertone and look on her face. A couple of the things she said (this was a while ago so I can't remember specifically the conversation) that made me wish I'd picked a different checkout. I'd managed to ignore the screaming/squealing factor all through the supermarket and this lady made such a big deal about it with the other customers listening that I got quite embarrassed which in turn I'm sure made Miss go for it more.I think she was enjoying the attention. I don't think I could of exited that super market any faster if I'd tried.Thankfully we're out of that phase and the supermarket is safe again. Every time I go back to that supermarket though I make sure to avoid that particular checkout lady.

I could understand from her point as she'd probably put up with a few kids doing that all day but in all reality short of gagging my daughter or smacking her at the check out what was I to do? Threats do not work on a 2yr old as they don't understand and they really only have 2 volumes or at least Miss Midget does.....loud and louder.

I don't know, I guess people either understand or they don't. I think at this stage I'm lucky Missy is pretty well behaved in public. I do try not to push my luck with it though. If I can help it we use "parent common sense" and avoid places if Miss Midget is having an off sleepy/grumpy day and things like that. I realise this can't work all the time but I figure while I can there is no need to put Miss or I in that situation.

What do you guys think? Have a I missed a look that people give a Parent of a tantruming child or have you had something similar to my supermarket story. I know a few of you have strangers come up to you with odd pieces of criticism, how did it make you feel?