Friday, 15 June 2012

Haircuts and feeling guilty

This subject has been bugging me for a couple of days now. While I'm going to try very hard not to offend anyone apologies now if I manage to (There is no ill intention behind this post at all).

So on the weekend I let Miss Midget's Nana cut her hair. I did ask her to in fact. This is fine just it didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped. Nana did her best and with Miss Midget there is the wiggle bum factor to take into account.

My thing with it all is I'm thinking I should of just well enough alone. Poor Miss Midget is now being asked if she's a boy when taken out places. Majority of her curls are gone and yeah. I'm no having extreme guilt about the whole thing.

I can hear you now - "It's just a hair cut" and you are right it is but it's a big thing to be put in charge of someone else's hair. I have flash backs to my own childhood where my mother made a judgement call with my hair and I was forced to have short hair in the hopes that it would get thicker. Now again my mother did what she thought was best and I don't begrudge her that as now being in the same situation I can see how difficult the decision was. It leaves you open to "Why?" etc.

Now I cannot stress this enough, I love Tayla's Nana to pieces and I did ask her to do it so as far as I'm concerned it's not her fault at all, it's mine. I feel guilty because I have done to my child what I had done to me.

When I was little I wanted desperately to have long beautiful hair like my favourite cartoon characters but it was not to be. Instead all through out my childhood after my hair cuts I would be tormented with "Your a boy, you have a boy hair cut, why are wearing a skirt?".
I'm almost 29yrs old so you would think I would be over it by now since I had these remarks at primary school and younger but yeah things stick I guess. I just don't want Miss Midget to go through what I went through. Hmmmm therapy is needed I suspect as I hadn't realized how traumatized I was by it all lol (just kidding)
Now I realize I'm making it out to be a life changing test that I failed miserably at and am putting far to much importance into such a shallow subject. I know I'm being completely silly with this post but yeah it's how I'm feeling at the moment. This and others things but really second guessing decisions I have made in the past and feeling guilty about things that I have done - So I'm not dealing with the other things and projecting my feelings into a completely meaningless situation - Don't worry, It's ok. Just let me have my rant about this haircut and I'll be sweet lol.

Now in all my rant above which has basically been about how I'm feeling, I haven't mentioned how Missy is. Well thats the funny thing. I'm pretty sure due to the fact she's almost 3 she doesn't seem actually care or to notice she's different again (All her little play friends have very pretty girly hair).
I still have to almost hold her down to brush her hair (or do it sneakily while she's occupied doing something else) and she's not said anything about. So I'm pretty sure it's just me for the moment having this guilt trip about it all. In saying that give it another few years and my name will be mud once she starts actually paying attention to her appearance and her hair.

Before the haircut
After the haircut - Almost no Curls :(
And just to prove I'm not telling fibs about the boy haircut. Yes this is me. I'm about 3 in this photo.

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